...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
