I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
