i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
