as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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