Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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