I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
