umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
