I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
