shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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