Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
