Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
