drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
