Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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