No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
