it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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