he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
