Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
