Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
