All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
