I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I need to sanitize my soul.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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