Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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