Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
