Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
