I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm too high and old for this...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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