also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he fucked my hip out of place.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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