We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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