But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Randomize
