is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
