I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
