the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
