I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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