I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
