She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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