I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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