"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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