I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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