i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
