I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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