Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The feeling are messing with the penis
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
