Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
