I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
