google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
