my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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