If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
