It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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