it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
