Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
where am i from again
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
