Me too!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just forgot I was standing up.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I believe in your delicious
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
