are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
