If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
