i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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